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Interview Patty

Our Tongue-Tied Tango

July 23, 2024

When someone expresses interest in working with us, we regularly make the mistake of thinking their interest is purely about the work.

We may launch into technical explanations of how we approach and complete the work. However, that’s not usually why people engage with us. Something invites them.

Once you have someone’s attention, how do you get them engaged in a conversation? What words do you use? What do you talk about?

And how do you handle those scenarios where you feel tongue-tied and stay silent?

The skills and techniques I taught to political candidates are the same skills I teach today to women business owners. But communicating effectively requires so much more than learning skills. This is where women can shine, using their intuition and powers of perception, but they frequently struggle to speak up and speak out.

In my view, women who are technical experts contend with three significant communication roadblocks: perceiving nuance, use of language, and lack of confidence.

Today’s Questions:


How do you handle that terrible tongue-tied feeling? Does it happen when a prospect challenges your pricing? Or when a staff member pushes back on a management decision?


But Here’s the Twist
. . .


Words have the power to hurt or heal, taunt or teach, demean or inspire. Using language well can help us feel empowered and bold, but we can feel tongue-tied when struggling to find the right words.

Preparation solves issues with all three communication roadblocks. When you plan ahead, you can worry less about missing nuance, knowing what to say, and feeling nervous.

The goal is to craft messaging that is clear, concise, and conveys value. Then we need to deliver that message with confidence, being assertive and direct.

This is hard work for most women business owners, especially Good Girls. We want everyone to like us, and we don’t want to be seen as pushy or (gasp!) arrogant.

How do you get comfortable with the effective use of language so you’re getting a great response?

Living your values and consistently following your standards builds trust. When your business is better aligned with your values, it feels better, and it works better. With these values and standards in hand, you can position your company in the marketplace.

A good place to start is by defining your values, which is the code you live by. You may have never consciously thought about or written down these values and standards, and that’s why this exercise is so important. Your clarity will build your confidence.

Your values list might start with:

  • You treat others with respect.
  • You do the right thing even when no one is watching.
  • You take responsibility but only when it is yours to take.


Your values – in life and business – translate into behavior, which becomes your standards. When you operate with consistent standards, you build trust with others.


Your standards list might start with:

  • You are an excellent listener and practice your communication skills daily.
  • You develop and follow specific strategies to reach your goals.
  • You invest time, energy, and money in supporting local charities.


People want to know who you are before they care about what you do. What is the most important quality for your ideal buyers to know about you? This goes back to nuance and positioning. When someone asks, “What do you do?” what are they really asking?

-- Excerpt from Patty’s book, Your Hidden Advantage:  Unlock the Power to Attract Right-fit Clients and Boost Your Revenue


Now What?


Aligning your business with your personal values and standards ensures consistency and builds trust with your audience. This leads to building your business reputation and generating more revenue.

Planning and preparation will serve you in the short- and long-term, whether you are building or considering exiting your business.

Have you built a profitable and valuable business but instead of feeling like there's something missing, you’re feeling like there's something more?

I specialize in helping women founders transition to their Third Act – when you’re ready to do the work you’ve always longed to do.

Work that lights you up. Work that is your purpose instead of just a paycheck.

In my experience, women don't retire; they transition into a new stage of purpose and impact. Whether you are 40 or 60, the idea of retirement may not appeal to you. Just because you can retire doesn’t mean you’ll want to.

We can redefine ‘retirement’ and think of your eventual business exit as a ‘purposeful transition’.

Are you ready to leap into your Third Act and grab the whole cookie?


That requires a new way of thinking, new skills, a simple and elegant design, and an advocate by your side. Contact me to learn more. 

Discover your Exit Readiness Index™ with this assessment: http://she-exits.com/

A Note from Patty...

My life’s work is empowering high-achieving women business owners to fine-tune their operations and scale their revenue for strategic growth, creating real business value and emerging exit ready. That value can transform into wealth when they are ready to exit their company - and I believe that wealth in the hands of women elevates society as a whole.

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